• "I have to do what is right for me."
• "The Bible's standards are outdated."
• "God doesn't care what I do."
• "God is too loving to judge anyone."
• "God isn't against premarital sex, adultery, or homosexuality-only promiscuous sex."
• "Any sexual activity is okay if done in love."
• "Everyone else is doing it, so it's all right."
• "To stifle sexual activity is unnatural."
• "Lusting after someone isn't bad if you don't actually engage in sex with them."
• "Premarital sexual activity (such as petting and oral sex) is okay, but intercourse isn't."
• "Sexual experience before marriage will help people when they get married."

What is the truth about sexual standards?

Let's begin by looking for answers in 1 Thessalonians 4. The apostle Paul pointed to several truths that should help us.

1. Biblical standards of right and wrong come from God, not man. Paul told the new believers, "For you know what commandments we gave you through the Lord Jesus" (v.2). His statements about how to live the Christian life were not his own ideas. Nor was he merely reflecting his culture or what his good friends believed. The commands that Paul passed along were from God and were given through the authority that Jesus had given to him as an apostle. He spoke of the commands as "the will of God" (v.3). And again, in verse 8, he said that "he who rejects this does not reject man, but God." "We cannot reject what God says without rejecting God Himself." This is where we need to feel the full weight of what is really happening when we choose to go our own way. It's easy to assume that what we do sexually really has nothing to do with our belief in God. It's easy to assume that we still love God and believe in Him even though we engage in sexual behavior that we know is not consistent with the standards of the Bible. But this is where the lie needs to be exposed. We need to realize that we cannot reject God's law without rejecting Him and His lordship over our lives. His laws are expressions of His love and wisdom. When we try to separate sexual issues from our relationship with Him, we are attempting the impossible. We must be very careful, therefore, not to dismiss parts of the Bible we don't agree with. Sexual standards in the Bible are consistent-whether those standards are in the Old Testament law or stated by Christ or written by New Testament authors. And biblical rules are not merely human opinions-they come from God Himself (2 Tim. 3:16; 2 Pet. 1:20,21). "When we try to separate sexual issues from our relationship with God, we are attempting the impossible." Unfortunately, we all have struggles at this point because by nature we have an inner desire to go our own way, and the world around us seems to push that same way. This problem has plagued all people since sin entered the human race (Rom. 1:18-32). Because we often would rather rule our own lives than to believe that God knows best, we don't want to submit to His high and demanding moral code.
2. God forbids sexual immorality. God doesn't have a "humans will be humans" attitude about sexual behavior. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3, Paul said, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality." The Greek word translated "sexual immorality" is porneia, which Paul uses to refer to the full range of illicit sex outside of the one-man-with-one-woman marriage relationship. Sexual immorality therefore includes premarital sex, adultery, homosexual acts, prostitution, incest, rape and even lust and obscene speech. (Leviticus 20 lists a wide variety of sexual acts that violate God's intent for our sexual expression.) Why does God place these boundaries around sex? Imagine a river that flows peacefully through a city and farmlands. The river provides water for citizens and industry and helps to irrigate the farmers' crops. Sports fishermen enjoy catching the fish. Children enjoy swimming and playing in it. But then the rains come-lots of rain- so much rain that the river becomes a raging torrent. The swelling river surges over its banks and floods the city and farmland alike. Homes and businesses are damaged or destroyed, crops are washed away, and families mourn the drowning of a parent or a child. In many ways, sex is like the river we just described. Within its God-ordained boundaries, it can be beautiful and provide joy for men and women. But when we make sinful choices, sex rages over its banks and creates havoc in our lives and in the lives of others. God wants the best for us. His standards are meant to protect us, not to spoil our fun.