3. God designed sex to be a beautiful part of a marriage relationship. Paul spoke of using our bodies for holy and honorable purposes (1 Thess. 4:4). We use our sexuality in a holy and honorable way when we reserve sex for marriage. Hebrews 13:4 states, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure" (NIV). The Greek word translated bed refers to intercourse. The relationship between husband and wife provides opportunity for the fulfillment of sexual desires. In fact, the apostle Paul said that a husband and wife owe it to each other to fulfill their partner's needs (1 Cor. 7:1-9). For a spouse to withhold sex from a mate invites temptation from Satan (v.5). In the original creation account, God stated His intent for a man and woman to leave their parents and join together as "one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). This one-flesh relationship was designed to involve physical and spiritual intimacy within a relationship of commitment to one another (Matt. 19:5,6). Too often, though, in our hunger for a close and loving relationship we may pursue sexual intimacy as a means to that end. And lust can blind us so that we end up pursuing sex for sex' sake without realizing the deep spiritual implications of such action (1 Cor. 6:15-20).

4. We cannot afford to look to the world for standards of behavior. The apostle said we are not to use our bodies "in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God" (1 Thess. 4:5). Our world has become obsessed with a perverted view of sex. Like all of God's good gifts, sex has been distorted by the effects of sin. Advertising , TV shows, movies, magazines, books, and everyday conversations in the workplace have blown sex way out of proportion-and out of bounds. And the frustrating part of lust is that it continually wants more and more. It has a way of overruling common sense and driving people to use others for their own sensual thrills (via magazines, videos, movies, music and personal encounters). The reason our world cannot offer us moral guidance is that it has forsaken the God of moral absolutes for gods of convenient excuses and immediate personal gratification. Romans 1 outlines the downward trend that occurs. And it happens over and over again as people rebel against God's standards, because His way gets in their way of what they think is best for themselves.

5. Purity is a matter of the heart. Paul warned against a lust-controlled life (1 Thess. 4:5). Jesus helped us to realize that though we may not have actually committed the act with our bodies, out minds may have indulged in illicit sex (Matt. 5:27-30). "Too many Christians settle for a truce instead of a triumph over the flesh."-Vance Havner At this point we need to make a distinction between legitimate sexual thoughts and lust. All of us think about sex; it's a part of human experience. What we must avoid, though, is to entertain and enjoy immoral thoughts. When our minds dwell on sexual acts that are outside of God's design, we've gone over the boundary into lust. Illicit sexual thoughts must be recognized for what they are, and then be rejected. Proverbs 4:23 states, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (NIV). Jesus said, "For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies" (Matt. 15:19). Our thoughts are the starting points for out actions. To compound the problem, messages of the heart can be misunderstood. You may know that lust and love are very different, but the distinction may not be so apparent when you're the one caught in the heat of a red-hot romance. A man and a woman might call their sexual intercourse "making love", but that doesn't make it love. It may be a severe case of self-centered desire. Lust uses people and treats them as objects. Its' not living to take advantage of a person to fulfill your own sexual desires. Lust can blind a person to the need to follow God's standards for purity, and it can cause him to ignore the essential ingredient of a marriage commitment. "Sex was designed to be the dessert, not the main course." The world often feeds us the lie that we can have an unselfish and truly loving sexual relationship outside of marriage. Yet it is terribly self-centered and shortsighted to think that our personal sexual desires are more important than obeying God and doing what is best physically and spiritually, both now and eternally, for us and the other person.

6. Sex isn't everything According to 1 Thessalonians 4, the more important values are pleasing God, pursuing holiness, treating our bodies with honor, and not wronging other people (vv.1-6). We certainly do not want to downplay the God-given importance of sex, but we also must not go to the other extreme of making it a god. A person can live a happy and fulfilling life without sex. Unfortunately, an unmarried person is often led to believe that he for she is less of a person without having had sex with someone. Marriage and sex can be so idolized that a single person feels left out. Yet the truth is that sex is only part of the overall marriage relationship. A good sex life does not guarantee marital happiness. The apostle Paul certainly would not have written about the advantages of the single life in 1 Corinthians 7:32-40 if he had felt that sex was an indispensable part of our lives. If we pursue sexual pleasure as if it were the path to happiness, we will always find that sex doesn't give us the expected fulfillment. Instead, we are likely to become addicted to enslaving passions and practices, and end up feeling a deep disappointment in our hearts. King Solomon, for example, did not find physical pleasures to be fulfilling in and of themselves (Eccl. 2).